Details Details

Being that I wanted to make my new place ALL mine, I went all out (Goodwill/DIY style) making all the personal touches personal to ME.
I took a few pictures of things that I have done and wanted to share. I began gathering things for my new place 2 months before I even moved out. I hid all the loot in the back of my closet, at friends' homes, in my trunk, or at work. It was kind of like Christmas when moving day finally had come because I couldn't quite remember all of the things I had been stowing.

While I was visiting Whatcom County once I ran into a shop in Fairhaven that sold light switch covers with random pictures. I loved them but I didn't love them enough to pay $10 each. I thought for a moment - went home, broke out all of my favorite magazines, scissors, and Mod Podge! Ta-Dah! Each switch cover and outlet cover has been podged with random pages I cut out of magazines. This particular one of the Golden Gate Bridge is in my "World Travel/ZEN Room".

Brand new shadow boxes were a happy find for me one day. I have never done a shadow box type thing. Auntie Helen happened to be over while I was trying to figure out what to do and she gave me a stellar idea. I kinda like how they turned out. Seashells just roll around in the box with the cruise ship background. The really awesome floating shelf I spray painted awesome the cool plum color.

Of course I had to make an "M" pillow for Michelle's House. I plan on making a couple of 76 smaller pillows now too.

I have a LOT of natural light in my bedroom - at really early hours of the morning even. So, I have made my room just as bright and cheerful!

A really nice silk curtain panel I picked up at Walmart & cut in half to make two panels perfect size for my window. It has embroidered vines and flowers which go awesome with...

My bright and shiny bedding. The pillows are all amazing little throws with cool designs and textures. The bedskirt was born yesterday! Yep I did.

It is perfect (to me) for a first attempt at a bedskirt! It is a taffeta like fabric that I picked up at Goodwill - 4 yards ( $1.50 )!

Just to give you an idea of what else I am working on to make my happy home even happier....

YIKES

What I love ..

...about living the single life in a house with just my two dogs and I is:

Peace and quiet. My dogs aren't the most peaceful couple of lunatics but they are only dogs. They don't yell, they don't watch television with the volume up so high your thoughts escape you. 

My mess. My house is only messy when I am lazy. I try to keep the laziness down to a low roar. I read in a book someplace that if a task only takes less than a minute to complete - complete it immediately. Things like doing the dishes and taking out the garbage are the two things that I struggle with the most. However, I much prefer just cleaning up after myself than cleaning up after a houseful!

Bathroom time - ummm - welcome back body! Once again I am able to get ready for the day in minimal clothing. If need be I can go back and forth throughout my house in the bare necessities! I love it, I love taking as long in the shower as I feel like - even if I feel like draining the hot water tank. 

Decorating. Everything in this house has a meaning or a purpose to ME. Everything in this house says a little about me and who I am. I have purposefully placed something at almost every vantage point that makes me smile. So as I am passing through in a rush I catch a sliver of what my soul loves. 

Movies. I watch a movie almost every night (pretty much every night). This is mostly so the boogie man still thinks there are people awake. If I wake up and it feels too early to do anything else - I put on a pot of water for tea and a movie and sit in bed with the doggies and watch the movie. I have watched some movies 15 times or more since I moved in. I can program the sleep feature by remote without the lights on now. 

Scripture Study and working through the 12 Steps. Anyone who is not all that familiar with me and my life needs to know that I recently (within the past year) became an active member of the LDS church ( read more HERE). I also am a recovering addict and about to begin my third round of the the Addiction Recovery Program through the said church. It is AMAZING!! Anyone suffering from an addiction ANY addiction - even if you have been clean, sober, or non practicing for a time being it is THE BEST.
(off my soap box)... Anywho, I am able to really study my scriptures and do the work in my ARP handbook without interruption. LOVELY!

Last but not least - I just discovered this one....

FIREWORKS. I have a perfect view of the City's firework display from my front yard. I am like 16 blocks away from the madhouse where the fireworks are being shot off. I heard the sounds a moment ago and ran out to my front yard and sure enough - the trees part just right between here and there I was able to watch the show while sitting in my front yard! HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

Introducing - Mi Casa!!

Okay, so I will have to work on my photography skills but .... here we go. Please keep in mind 90% of the decor is either donated, garage sale scores, or Goodwill purchases ( I am an addict of Goodwill ).

The bathroom view from the door - complete with a washer and dryer. I left out the toilet view and tub view (I can post upon request).

View of the Zen Room from the door - Please note all doors are off the kitchen. Entry way door, bathroom door, my bedroom door, Zen Room door. The walls are a hot chocolate brown which the paint store liked to call "Beef Broth" - I prefer Hot Chocolate.

Like how the pictures all came out so dark? Yeah, me too - NOT.  My curtains in this room are a story in themselves - I will post later with all of my craftiness in detail.

The fan - seriously $5.00 at St Vincents!! The real deal too!

Chair came with the house - all else - Goodwill!

Now for the kitchen - landlord's only stipulation? I don't paint over the very ugly wooden cupboards. They aren't so bad until you notice the Royal Blue 1/2 inch counter top! I have made the best of it though and am kinda loving the color scheme.

My fridge with quotable quotes, pictures of cool people, and my ode to Oliv-i-derci on top. Have I mentioned I miss her much? Well, I miss her more than much.

Now, we have made our way from the kitchen into the living room. You can see the back door, bathroom, bedroom (kinda). I like the little bar area, not for drinking but for filling my cobalt blue bottles with fake flowers and calling it LOVELY!

Living room, see the "M" pillow? That will be part of the next blog on crafty Michelle. Auntie Helen, you know her right? She came to visit and "helped" me redecorate and arrange pictures - thank goodness!! That is a real honest to goodness fireplace. It will be replaced with a new one by Thanksgiving.

The other view of my living room. I promise to take some better pictures with a little more detail later. Maybe.

There you have it! Good night!

Slight Delay

Sooooo.... I am sorry to say that there will be a small delay in picture sharing - I am searching for a way to get them from my camera, to my laptop, and then to my BIG desktop (the only one in the house with internet).
In the meantime, I will tell you that I am in love with my new single life at my "new to me" home. I have been living here since the 9th of April-ish. When I first moved in with the amazing help of two high school besties and my dad the place was a little worse for the wear. No one had occupied the residence for a little over nine months. YIKES. My poor yard had suffered dearly.
I have since repainted my bedroom and the spare bedroom - which has now been dubbed the ZEN room (you will soon find out why).
New things to experience as a single person living on their own for the first time - a washing machine that rocks the ENTIRE house on the rinse cycle, a bunch of free furniture that the previous tenants/landlord have left behind (craters of the moon bed, cool end tables, really cool chairs for the living room, and last but not least - the neighbors who think they live in the country - chickens, roosters, baby chicks, and barking dogs.
My neighbors are pretty rough around the edges and to this day I have avoided contact, let alone eye contact.
I have a huge back yard completely fenced in for my dogs - LOVE.
I have plenty of flowerbeds - LOVE.
The house came with a washer/dryer AND microwave - TRIPLE LOVE.

I am off to work on the picture portion of this blog.

Dear SIL

Be still thy heart... I am on my way to the store to purchase batteries for my camera.  Tomorrow you shall have pictures of my humble abode.
Within a month I moved and so did you. Blogging seems to be the only way to go! I will commence blogging tomorrow and we will be like peas in a pod once again!

What I am up to

This is what I am going to work on the next couple of days...  I found it on Frou-FruGal Projects :

 

www.froufrugal.blogspot.com

I will let you know how it turns out. I am on my way to the store to get the beads I want.  :) 

Hope....

Hope is a very tough concept for me to grasp. I gave up on "hoping" for things a year or three ago - a combination of my expectations from time to time being referred to as 'too high' or 'ridiculous' and other people's priorities not aligning with mine = me settling for someone else's dreams and thus far not my own.
These are things that I have come to terms with and have taken responsibility for my faults.  I am not a good communicator, I would much rather have the world read my mind than tell them what I want out of life.
I have chosen to remain in situations that prevent me from reaching my full potential.  I like many other bloggers do not share my "low" points for sympathy or any other reason than to share...

So many of us are out there "trying" which wouldn't impress Yoda in the least. I saw on another blog - do or don't do - it isn't about trying. I am staying sober with every OUNCE of my being at the moment. 

I had found that place of my own and I was so so so excited and on Thursday of last week it fell through. The potential buyers are no longer the potential buyers. 

I so need to move out of the environment that I am currently living in.  It is  not at all condusive to the live I have chosen to return to. It is prison to be honest - moral prison. I have been trying to be the best I can be ... but just trying not doing. That is what I came to terms with today.  It isn't that my Heavenly Father is letting me down and doesn't want this good thing to happen to me.  It is that I am still struggling with whether or not I have made the right choice to return to His church. 

I could very easily drink until I was drunk right now.  I have been dreaming vividly about doing so the past three nights.  I have for a moment lost hope that I am going to be able to free myself.  

DeDe's 6th Birthday

I live 5 hours away from the majority of my family and even more than that from others. It was a choice I made - the worst part is when there are birthday parties that I refuse to miss.  No matter what. 

Like last Saturday for instance was my nephew Ethan's ( DeDe ) 6th birthday.  For numerous reasons I have yet to make it to one of his birthday parties thus far. I was not going to let lame adult excuses get in the way of me missing another one!

Lame adult excuses began to surround me: working on Friday, wanted to be in my ward on Sunday, couldn't afford to travel all 5 hours one way (have you seen the price of gas these days?)...  so on and so forth.

I made a non-lame adult decision - gather all of your money and gather up your best travel buddies ... and get in the car -  7:30 am to be exact!

sweetest dog in the world - Chewie

Mr. Mischievous - Rocky

              

They are the best kind of travel companions in that they don't complain about my selection of music, how loud I like to play my music, how fast/slow I drive, or even if I am taking pictures with my cell phone as I drive down the freeway.  They aren't much for conversation -

The trip started to get a little long once the rain began to pound my windshield -

I was really beginning to wonder what exactly I was thinking cramming 8 hours worth of driving and 3 hours at Chuck E Cheese into one day when I saw this face.

The Birthday Boy - Ethan "My DeDe"

He was so handsome on this day with his new haircut and smart shirt.  As soon as I saw him the whole trip was worth it.  Then there were more awesome children ready to attack all the rides at this incredible empire of children's magic!

Lil Olivia Michelle - how I love her and her crazy faces

 

 

 

DeDe's big sister - Hailey - she is an amazing big sister.... AMAZING

It was an awesome day - Bianca didn't stop moving long enough to get a picture of her. Another adult excuse - I didn't remember my camera at a nephew's birthday party.  Luckily, my Auntee Helen (as I still call her even in my mid-thirties ) took plenty of pictures and probably has them already burned onto a CD for the next time I visit.

I don't have children of my own - a fact that pains me most days and most nights. Being able to be a part of my nephew Ethan's 6th birthday for a while takes that pain away.  They are not my children but they are my blood.  I will be the best aunt I can be and hope to aspire to be as great as my Auntee Helen who in my eyes is PERFECTION. If she ever reads this she will cry - and I am glad. She has taught me a million things - including how not to be a lame adult with lame excuses that get in the way of a child's day.

Change of Heart

I have been carrying something that looks a lot like this around with me for A VERY long time.

I was sitting in class last week and was asked to read the following scripture.  I read a couple words and busted in to tears!

 "Through the prophet Ezekiel, the Lord declared, "A new heart...will I give you, a new spirit will I put within you: and will take away the stony heart out of your flesh" (Ezekiel 36:26) (Addiction Recovery Program,LDS Family Services Manual).

My God, He will do this for me. I don't have to carry this thing around any longer.  I can move forward in my journey and receive all the blessings that are in store for me.

Hope, is a word that I struggle with. Faith is something that I many times have claimed I did not have. I have begun to feed my faith, practice my faith, I have taken LEAPS of faith. Here I am - I am finally believing that there is HOPE for me in this new life.

I am seriously amazed at how quickly I have been able to progress in my venture now that I have given in. I have made changes, drastic changes and I am about to make one more change.  Is it scary? If it wasn't scary I wouldn't have waited 11 years give or take. I have HOPE that this is all worth it.

I have to keep working toward my return.

A way out.

The best thing about not telling anyone I have created this blog yet is that I get to journal my true situation here and in the now.

For four and a half years I have fought tooth and nail to make my relationship work.  Now, I am trying to keep myself together and not go insane myself.  I made a decision a couple weeks ago that I need to move on from this relationship.  Do I love him? Yes, with every inch of my being. He is never going to make the changes he promised me he would make in the beginning.  A good friend once told me 'believe a man when he tells you something, if he tells you he isn't going to change - he isn't'. Loud and clear I hear that now.
None of my emotions relating to our relationship are going to change anything about our relationship. 
I am now looking for a place to call my own.  I moved out once before and ended up moving back here with him. I am resolute in my decision that we need to cut our ties and go seperate ways at this point. 

 

I am looking for a place to call my own.  It is a secret from most everyone I know because I don't want to fall back on my word and let people down again.  This isn't the place for me any longer. I know that. Love isn't enough if it is all there is. I will find my way. Eventually. 

Think Tank

There isn't a lot of quiet time around my house with my overly energetic dogs.

 

This one being the biggest culprit

So when I need to get some real thinking done I load myself and my laptop into my car and drive a couple blocks down the road to my favorite coffee shop - Bon Vino's

I know I need to cut the coffee out but it is one of the last vices I still cling to with all my might.  So I pay my $2.00 and enjoy my carafe of the yummiest coffee while I ponder just what I am going to do when I grow up.  Then I ponder just exactly when I plan on growing up.  Today, I shared my carafe with an old childhood friend and we came up with a plan. Over the course of the next few weeks we will become roommates and grow up together.  We each have had a rough go the past couple of years and are both getting our lives put together. 

So, once again I am about to close my eyes and jump and keep faith in my God that in his time not mine, as long as I do what is required of me - He will work his mercies into my life and I will make it.  

I am going to make it.  

Wait no more

I have been postponing this blog thing now for .... mmmm .. years.  I didn't want to blog until I had the perfect background with the perfect pictures in the perfect places.  I am not sure why being that I came to terms with the fact that life isn't perfect like a billion years ago.  So here I am...